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Tag Archives: Felix Magath

Fear factor meets Rocky: Relegation ramblings

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Dortmund are champions, the other two Champions League spots have been given away, and Mainz and Hannover are already qualified for the Europa League. The three horse race between Eintracht Frankfurt, Borussia Mönchengladbach and Wolfsburg to avoid relegation is the most exciting battleground on the last match day of this Bundesliga season. Here are some pointers.

All three clubs are going on the road for their most important game of the season. Eintracht Frankfurt have probably the toughest task ahead, playing the already crowned champions Borussia Dortmund on the day they’ll receive the world’s ugliest salad bowl(the Bundesliga champion’s trophy) in front of their own fans. Even if Dortmund have the championship already sealed, signed and delivered, it seems unlikely that the black and yellows will take their foot of the gas paddle. Read the rest of this entry

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March madness? The “new” kids are on the block

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Yes, you might have read tons of stuff about the trainer carrousel in the Bundesliga these past few days. But, let’s take a step back and see what the changes the clubs in the league have made will bring us.

One of the most astute questions that is asked by foreign relations experts is: “Why are you doing this, and what will you achieve by doing this?” In my book the board of any football club should ask themselves the same question, before bowing to public outcry and pressure before taking rash actions.

However, in the last few weeks a number of clubs have chosen the most drastic action a club can take, and fired their head coaches. Let’s run down the list, and see if all the sackings that have happened in the last few weeks were the right thing to do. Read the rest of this entry

My ode to an eccentric

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Does it seem to be impossible to get women to take an interest in football? Is a scouting network too expensive for your club? The coach hasn’t any tricks up his sleeve to motivate his players? Don’t worry, your club just needs a president like Dr. Peter Krohn. Here is my ode to one of the most eccentric figures German football has produced.

Dr. Peter Krohn was the president of the Hamburger SV between 1973 and 1975, and the sporting manager at the HSV for the two following years. Krohn regarded himself as somewhat of a visionary. He saw problems in the world of football that nobody else saw. Related to former HSV player Hans Krohn, this visionary set out to revolutionize football. Read the rest of this entry

No confessions from the shopaholic

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Schalke’s fans do not even care about their club’s poor performance so far this season, all their anger is angled towards Felix Magath’s transfer policy. The iron man himself brushes the off the criticism of his policies, and calls himself a good business man.

Felix Magath adresses his players during a training session.

“Insane”, “madness”, or words to those extend have been uttered by many Schalke fans after what happened on January 31st. “Magath should confess that he is in over his head with all the different roles he has taken at the club”, a Schalke fan wrote on a fan forum. Magath doesn’t think that he has made any mistakes whatsoever. “It is financially wise to buy these players”, Magath told Bild. Not admitting any wrong doing, Magath scared many Schalke fans by saying:”I think that the players we have brought in will strengthen the squad and give us the quality that we needed for the last matches of the season.” Read the rest of this entry

2010 viewed from the perspective of a Bundesliga fan

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2010 is coming to an end, and fans of the Bundesliga have a lot to be thankful for: the cheapest tickets in Europe and the highest goal scoring average of any league in Europe are certainly among those things. But, besides the fact that we were entertained by what happened on the pitch, there were also a few exciting moments beside the pitch. Here are my highlights of 2010.

January
2010 began on a peaceful note. The Hamburger SV is certain that Bruno Labbadia is the man the club has been waiting for. That is probably why oldie Ruud van Nistelrooy decides to sign for the HSV.

Jens Lehmann tells befuddled journalists that he will guard the national side’s goal during the World Cup in South Africa. Leverkusen, Schalke and Bayern are in a three way race for the title.

Felix Magath is not able to make any mistakes according to Germany’s biggest tabloid paper, Bild. Most people expect therefor Schalke’s surprise winter buy, defender Tore Reginiussen, to be an instant hit.

February
DFB-president Theo Zwanziger finds out that he didn’t extend Joggi Löw’s contract. Team manager Bierhoff and Zwanziger are starting their media feud that would last for some time.

The Peruvian striker Paulo Guerrero manages finally to catch a plane from Peru. Guerrero is according to media reports afraid of air travel.

Hannover are still shocked by the sudden death of goalkeeper Robert Enke. The club hasn’t won a single game after Enke’s death in November 2009.

March
The VFL Bochum doesn’t manage to take home a single point in march. Jens Lehmann is still thinking that he should be the national side’s goalkeeper. Werder Bremen’s four goals at home against Valencia are not enough to take the northerners to the next round of the Euro-League. Bayer Leverkusen lose three of their league games, and are out of the title-race.

Kevin Kuranyi is in the meantime in the form of his life, and scores a boatload of goals for Schalke. That doesn’t impress Joachim Löw, who still won’t take the striker back in his team. Löw’s first choice strikers, Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski, haven’t impressed anyone in 2010.

April
Hannover 96 helps Bayern Munich by winning 4-2 against Schalke. The team from Lower-Saxony loses its next game 7-0 against, you guessed it, Bayern Munich.

Most German’s think that Kevin Kuranyi should be part of the country’s World Cup side. Bruno Labbadia is no longer the Messiahs the HSV has been waiting for, and has to leave the club.

But hell, nobody is talking about German football anyway, because of an Icelandic volcano that screwed up everyones plans for the holidays.

May
Micheal Ballack is attacked by Kevin Prince Boateng and can’t participate in the World Cup. After Ballack had to pass, so do Rolfes, Träsch, Westermann – and Rene Adler. But none of the 82 million Germans care, because Lena Meyer-Landrut wins the Grand-Prix.

Bayern win the league, and Louis van Gaal parties like an English girl on a holiday on Ibiza.

June
The World Cup starts.

Experts are grumpy, because Argentine and England probably will meet in the early knock-out stages. “The possibility of a dream final ruined”, they yell. Dieter Hoeneß agrees, the English way of playing football is superior to the German way, and decides to hire Steve McClaren, who most certainly will take Wolfsburg to the top of the league.

July
90% of European males are deaf, because of the sound of the Vuvuzelas coming from their television sets. Germany comes in third at the World Cup. Zwanziger and Bierhoff claim that they love each other as much as on the day they first met.

August
The league starts again. Micheal Ballack has returned to Leverkusen, but most of Germany is talking about Philipp Lahm’s demand to keep the captain’s armband in the future. Schalke starts poorly into the league, and Felix Magath is doing everything wrong according to Germany’s biggest tabloid, Bild.

September
The Bruchweg boys conquer the league. Mainz wins the first seven games in a row, and are the front runners of the league. Magath is still doing everything wrong. Bayern Munich are also off to a poor start. Dortmund is the only team that can keep up with Mainz.

Cottbus and Karlsruhe draw 5-5 in Germany’s second highest division.

October
Dortmund are pulling away at the top of the league. Faryed Mondragon loses his place in Cologne’s starting line-up, and feels as badly treated as Jesus.

November
The first half of the 10/11 season is coming to an end. Dortmund seem already like the winners of the championship, while Bremen and Bayern are struggling. Things turn around at Schalke. The reason for that turn of event is because Magath never makes any mistakes, according to Germany’s biggest tabloid, Bild.

Dortmund player Kuba manages to miss an empty goal and his miss goes viral on YouTube.

December
Dortmund are winter champions, and the World Cup in 2022 will be held in Qatar. The Hamburger SV is convinced that Armin Veh is the coach they have been waiting for since Ernst Happel. Stuttgart have sacked their second coach for the season, but is convinced that Bruno Labbadia will be able to turn things around.

Nobody in Germany remembers who Tore Reginiussen is.

2011
Nothing is for certain, but this will probably happen in 2011:
Magath continues to do well. The Bild Zeitung demands that pope Benedict steps aside, to leave all his duties to Felix Magath.

Jens Lehmann thinks about a comeback, and tells Schalke 04 that he is willing to replace Manuel Neuer. The 41 year old tells German journalists that he should play for Germany in the 2012 European Championship.

Thomas Schaaf makes a shock move to the HSV, and leaves his former partner Klaus Allofs behind. Allofs, shocked by the loss, tells the Bild Zeitung that he never will love again. HSV manager Bernd Hoffmann says that Schaaf is the coach the club has been waiting for.

Did I forget to include any highlights? Leave a comment.